Learning Outcome 1:
While writing my significant writing project I went through different revision approaches. One helpful revision process that helped me was going back to my first quotes and giving them more supportive details and getting rid of any extra information that I didn’t need. I looked at my rough draft and I copied and pasted my quotes on a different page and started fixing them from there. Another helpful revision strategy is having my classmates give me advice on how to make my paper better. They wrote comments and told me to focus on the main argument and expand more on my quotes. This was very helpful and allowed me to change my quotes into more supportive details and made my paper flow better. It is nice to have a new set of eyes look at your paper and listening to new ideas.
Before: Artists do not contribute to the people in need and don’t help the suffering. There main idea is “that the only good that counts is what you accomplish over and above what the next person would have done in your place.”
After: Artists do not contribute to the people in need and don’t help the suffering. The Effective Altruism states that “the only good that counts is what you accomplish over and above what the next person would have done in your place.” Meaning that if you are the best of the best and the one making a lot of money and donating that money to the greater good then you are doing what you are supposed to.
https://kjillson.uneportfolio.org/english-110/final-draft-writing-project/
Nancy Sommers’ had some interesting insights on what revision strategies student writers do during the revision process. Sommers stated, “The experienced writers seek to discover (to create) meaning in the engagement with their writing, in revision..” I try to make meaning in my writing process because it really does make a difference if your paper has predefined meaning to it. A good paper needs balance, rhythm, or communication. Using helpful comments from your peers and changing your quotes into more supportive ones can make a difference in your paper completely.
Learning Outcome 2:
For my significant writing project I talked about the Effective Altruism Movement, a Ted Talk by Titus Kaphar and Peter Singer. I used quotes to strengthen my argument and make my paper stronger. Using sources helps you backup your thesis and gives you supportive evidence throughout your paper. Using all my sources and authors thoughts and their opinions helped me support my main argument on why art is beneficial in the world.
Quotes I put in my essay:
- There main idea is “that the only good that counts is what you accomplish over and above what the next person would have done in your place.” (435) Meaning that if you are not the best of the best and the one making a lot of money and donating that money to the greater good, then you are doing what you are supposed to. And for those who are not the best of the best and don’t make a lot of money to help the world then you are worthless and should find a different job to pursue that actually benefits in the world.
- The Effective Altruism is not the only group of people that share these beliefs. An philosopher named Peter Singer published essay that states, “Suppose you saw a child drowning in a pond, would you jump in and rescue her even if you hadn’t pushed her in? Even if it meant ruining your clothes? It would be highly controversial to say “no”- and yet most of us manage to ignore those dying of poverty and preventable disease surround us.”
https://kjillson.uneportfolio.org/english-110/final-draft-writing-project/
When using quotes in your paper it is important that you incorporate them well and they are integrated into your paper smoothly. On my first quote you can see that after I quoted the Effective Altruism Movement I explained in my own words what he means by his opinion of art. Going off quotes and explaining it is very important and it gives the reader a better understanding of what the main argument is.
Learning Outcome 4:
This semester I had lots of practice peer reviewing other students papers. It is a great idea to focus on global and local revisions. With my chosen peers paper, I was able to give back helpful advice on how to make their overall paper stronger and better. For example, a classmate wrote, “John Armstrong writes in this essay La Bella Vita believes that beauty is a kindly notion that seeks to bring peace to people that have different views on things.” I left a comment and said to reword this sentence more clearly because it doesn’t flow right and sounds choppy. For another comment I suggested, “I feel like you can expand more about your thoughts on beauty. Give some examples and pictures to show the reader what you consider to be beautiful.” It is important to give your opinions in your paper especially in the beginning. I was also reminding my classmate to add pictures and examples into his paper. I left another comment and said, “Add a quote from Schiller in this paragraph.” My classmate started a new paragraph and was talking about Friedrich Schiller and his opinions on beauty. I thought adding a quote from Schiller would make his paragraph stronger and give a better insight on what Schiller’s opinions are. When peer reviewing my classmates paper I learned to read it thoroughly and to try to give the best advice that I can, whether it being local or global revision.
https://kjillson.uneportfolio.org/english-110/marked-first-draft-of-peers-paper/
Learning Outcome 5 and 6:
While writing my significant writing project I was able to critique and make my final draft better. I used the Little Seagull handbook which was very handy and it helped me with my MLA formatting. I was able to look up how to site all types of sources such as magazines, another student’s paper, a video and so much more. It tells you the exact way to cite something correctly and the proper format. Throughout my paper I was able to make local revisions to address any typical errors. Using the revision strategies I learned in class I was able to make my paper more clearer and sound better. For example, having a classmate read your paper gives you new insights and some more ideas. Having someone with new eyes check out your paper is helpful and they are usually able to give you back some of their opinions. They can tell you to reword a sentence more clearly, get rid of or add certain details or to even add a quote and so much more. For my paper I wrote, “Art is not about the money. It’s about expressing one’s feelings and emotions. Art is proven to help people mentally and physically. It is proven that it can make people live a healthier lifestyle and to overall be healthier human beings.” One of my classmates suggested I clean these sentences up because it is choppy and too repetitive. I went back a fixed it completely and instead focused on a paragraph all about the health benefits of doing art. I started it off by saying, “Art has many benefits in the world. Creating art helps relieve stress. Activities like painting, drawing, sculpting and many more hobbies can lower your stress levels and leave you feeling clear and calm.” Going back and fixing this made my paper sound more smoothly and clearer. All these revisions strategies helped a lot and made my paper overall better.
https://kjillson.uneportfolio.org/english-110/final-draft-writing-project/
